Short Shorts – Comic Book Briefs for the week of 12/28/2007

AAAAARRRGHHHH!!!!!  WHY DOES IT KEEP COMING BACK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh, this is just horrendous.  I am truly, terribly, absolutely sorry that this horrible, horrible image has once again burned itself upon your poor, innocent retina.  I promise not to subject any of you to this horror again for at least another week.

 On to the Short Shorts.  This is where I offer some comments, briefs if you will, on the various comics I read each week.  These are not reviews – you can find plenty of places that offer reviews on the internet (and porn…that’s right!  I have recently discovered that there are some dark corners of the internet where porn exists…uncanny!), so instead I will say what comes to mind.  Even if my thoughts do not always have anything to do with the comics in question.

Green Lantern #26

Yeah, like I’m not beginning with Green Lantern.  I have officially decided that 2007 was the Year of Green Lantern, and I have written letters to the Pope and the estate of former President Zachary Taylor to see if I can get this made, like, official and stuff.  I was a bit concerned that after the incredible Sinestro Corps War that the title might take a breather; but that didn’t happen.  Instead of taking his foot off of the accelerator, Geoff Johns pushed it down harder, but only after adding rocket fuel to the tank.  The ramifications of the first new law of the Book of Oa are put to the test by one of our Lost Lanterns, and it has led to the freakish creation of the Alpha Lanterns who are supposed to play a role in the definition and application of the law.  A couple of familiar faces have undertaken this surgery (one which may upset fans of early English tribal queens).  The scene of the issue (and of the week in all comics) had to do with John Stewart.  I got chills when I read “Willpower exceeds Ring Limitations.”  Wow.  Full speed ahead, GL!

 Countdown #18

Anti-climatic.  I want so badly to love this title like I loved 52, but it just isn’t happening.  After all of this time with the “mystery” of Ray Palmer’s disappearance all I can think is “That’s it?  Are you kidding me?”  Not even the “cliffhanger” at the end made me feel anything other than “What the hell is going on here?”  And not in a confused way, but rather a “why do I keep buying this?” way.  I’m using way to many quotation marks in this Brief, so I’ll try not to use any more.  I just don’t know what else to say.  I’m frustrated by this comic.  I know that I shouldn’t compare it to 52, but I kind of have to.  52 was amazing week in and week out: this…I feel like they’re jerking my chain here.  I like all of the creators involved, and I’m not holding this against them in future projects; but I really wish that this could have been better.

Ultimate Power #9

Congrats, Countdown – you weren’t my least favorite comic of the week.  What was the freaking point here???  OK, we have a couple characters trading universes and we learned that superheroines make total orgasm faces while fighting (not to mention striking incredible bunny-mag-type poses in the oddest situations).  Bottom line is – this 9-issue miniseries ran about 6 issues too long.  I can’t believe that they put Squadron Supreme on the back burner for this. 

 Countdown to Adventure #5

Toyota Forerunner is really growing on me. Didn’t think much of her when she was first introduced, but she is an interesting concept for a character.  Excellent move dealing with the space pirates.  As for the lead story: I’m enjoying it.  They don’t have the same charm as from 52, but Beechan is doing a good job with these three characters as they deal with the returning Lady Styx.  Fun scenes; good teamwork; and even the totally-unnecessary-Ellen-jealous-of-Kory bit wasn’t too bad.  The bond these three characters share (even if Adam Strange isn’t with Animal Man and Starfire) makes a lot of sense considering what they went through together.  Years from now you could see them sitting around Warriors late one night having a few beers and not talking too much about what happened.  This title has become a pleasant surprise for me.

 Brave & the Bold #9

Possibly my least favorite issue of this title so far; which of course means that it is still better than most other comics out there!  Waid and Perez just continue to deal the comic book crack which is this title.  It was a sheer joy to see these characters again (many not seen in a long time); and using them to further the Megistus plot was wonderfully entertaining.  My favorite part was the team-up with the All-New Atom and the woefully-underused Hawkman.  Why he has been swept under the rug in favor of the complete bore that is Hawkgirl is mind-boggling.  I loved the Atom’s assessment of Carter Hall at the beginning of the tale; and Waid showed the respect Hawkman has for his friend, Ray Palmer, by accepting his friend’s protege by simply calling him “Atom.”

Countdown: Arena #4

I bought this series for one reason, and one reason only – to show DC that as a reader I want to see Keith Champagne given more writing opportunities.  It turned out to be a fun read, for the most part.  I enjoyed the different worlds and the different possibilities of these characters.  I’m not sure what more they could have done to make this comic better, but considering what he had to work with, I think that Champagne did a fine job.  We’ll see how this plays out in Countdown when Monarch finally takes on the Monitors.

Captain America #33

I do not read a lot of Marvel right now, but I’ll be damned if this is not one of the best titles in comics.  Brubaker has managed to put such an amazing human face to the “events” of the last couple years in this title.  Characters like Bucky, Iron Man, Black Widow, Falcon, Agent 13, Red Skull….I didn’t care a lick about any of them…until reading this title.  All too often we have a “OH MY GOD!  In this issue, _________ DIES!!!!” and people hem and haw about the death, and the moment…but we don’t see a lot of the fallout or the ramifications.  In this, over the past several months, we have seen what the death…and indeed, the life, of Stever Rogers meant.  How he inspired and touched the people who knew him; who respected him; and who loved him.  Much like the Flash at DC, I think that Brubaker is creating the central “legacy character” of the Marvel Universe.

 Gotham Underground #3

Three issues in – still thinking that it is the best Bat-comic being published right now.  Brutal fight between “Matches” and Mr. Zsasz – honestly, I’m surprised that it saw print.  I’m so used to “Uber-Bats,” that seeing him in a very real fight against an opponent, whom while inferior, had an advantageous drop on him and took advantage of it came as a breath of fresh air.  The current events of the DC Universe play heavily into this title, but rather than be bogged down by them, they just run with it and give us a nice, entertaining comic.  We have an old friend (possibly) return; and we see that while they are learning to trust in one another, the remaining criminals of Gotham still carry mistrust as a central key to their character.  Good story; good art; no complaints.

Legion of Super-Heroes #37

So, no more “Supergirl” in the title, and seeing as how they’re going back, they decided to go waaaay back and bring Jim Shooter back on board!  Let me tell you, I was concerned about this move.  I am a long-time, loyal Legion fan; but I was concerned that perhaps Shooter was merely a nostalgia move…and maybe that’s true on some level, but it doesn’t change the fact that he wrote an entertaining story which seamlessly weaves in with the NewBoot Legion.  Good characterization with Lightning Lad, Light Lass, Karate Kid and Phantom Girl.  He has not lost his knack for giving different characters different voices quickly for a new reader.  Not too sure about the art yet (what the hell is up with neckless Colossal Boy (err…Micro Lad) on the cover?  That just looks like bad 90s stuff), but that’s just a minor quibble.  I can see this artist growing on me, and it didn’t distract from an enjoyable “first issue” for one of the legendary names in the Legion universe.  I’m sticking with this….yeah, yeah – big surprise, I know.

Action Comics #860

Sigh…..I’m so torn about this comic.  Incredible story, great art and tons of potential…but there is one little thing that Geoff Johns seems to be determined to do here that is just ruining all of the good stuff in this story for me.  I’m not commenting on it yet, as I will wait to see how it plays out, but if Johns goes in the direction I fear that he is, then I will be very disappointed with him as a writer.  Enough of that, tho – we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.  The Rejects have come home to Roost in the future, and what better character to offer some perspective on the jerks than the one Legionairre who’s name was synonymous with “rejection” for so long?  It was great seeing him and so many other character whom we haven’t seen in far too long.  One of the great things about the Legion is that these characters have such varying and specific powers, so working together comes up with interesting possibilities.  Case in point: Shadow Lass and Night Girl – that just makes sense!  I can’t help but feeling that this story will not just be contained in the pages of this Action Comics storyline, but instead we’re being set up for something big…and who’s 50th Anniversary is 2008???

OK – that is more than enough for now.  I’ll cover Jack of Fables in it’s own post, of course, and I may have some more comments on these issues, issues raised by these issues, and other issues unrelated to these issues.  Oh, and GL/Sinestro Corps Secret Files deserves a topic in and of itself.

If you shoot your guns into the air on New Year’s Eve, then you are an idiot.

Honestly, what more can I say which my title does not already cover?

This may sound bizarre to some people, but there are those (we’ll refer to them henceforth as “idiots”) who think that it is a wonderfully appropriate and festive tradition to shoot their guns into the air at midnight to celebrate the New Year.  I know, I know…it sounds unbelievable, but the idiots are out there.  You cannot pass this off as merely a “southern” thing, as I’ve seen and heard of this practice taking place in such wonderful northern locales like Iowa, Wisconsin, Illinois, New York; and for our west coast friends; California and Washington.

It doesn’t matter which state you are in, or whichever side of the Mason-Dixon line you may reside – the fact remains that anyone who thinks that it is a good idea to shoot their gun in the air at midnight on New Year’s Eve is AN IDIOT!!!

One word, idiots: GRAVITY.  What goes through these people’s minds when they squeeze off a couple rounds into the air?  Do they think that the bullets disintegrate?  Do they think that they get stuck in clouds?  Do they think that they go into orbit???  If so then why the hell are we wasting so much money on rocket fuel with each launch when we can just strap a satellite to some idiot’s barrel and launch that puppy into orbit with the squeeze of some idiot’s finger?

My God…people die because of this idiocy.  This has nothing to do with the Second Amendment; this has nothing to do with personal rights…this has to do with the fact that sometimes Darwinism can’t catch up to all of the idiots before they go and hurt somebody with their idiotic idiocy.

 Happy New Years!!!  Drink some sparkling wine; light a firecracker (do NOT hold it in your hand or throw it at someone, idiots!); kiss your loved one; sing Auld Lang Syne….there are so many things you can do which do not involve the blatant disregard of gravity mixed with alcohol, insecurity-driven bravado and yes….idiocy.

Thank you, and if you know any idiots who engage in this behavior, please try to talk some sense into them before they go and ruin somebody’s life.

Is the Fantasy ruining Football?

I am a fan of Fantasy Football.  You could say that I am a junkie, in fact.  It is fun; it helps friends keep in touch; and it spreads interest of the most popular sport in the United States of America.

So why is it that I’m wondering if Fantasy Football is detrimental to the game?

I started off back in 2000 playing in one league.  I still play in that one (one of the only ways I’m still in touch with those old, dear friends), but along the way I’ve started playing in more and more.  I think that last year was the worst, when I was in 6 fantasy leagues (2 for money).

I’ve won some, I’ve lost some miserably…but it is always the same: at the beginning I am so gung-ho about it.  I can’t get enough….I am so eager for football to begin that the idea of talking about it and drafting players is like crack for me.  But…by the end of the season, even if I’m winning, I seem to lose interest.  The love of the actual game slowly replaces the love of my personal game as the year goes on.

I have wondered this for the past couple years, but it is more in the forefront of my thoughts after “The Play.”

You fantasy fans know what I am talking about: Brian Westbrook; Jon Runyon; 1-yard line….

Incredible football play.  Smart.  Head’s up.  Solid football.

But is that great move being praised?  No.  All I’ve heard about it is “OOooooo….dat Westbrook jus’ cos me da champyonship!” and similar cries from people who are horrified by the fact that a PROFESSIONAL football player would do something to ensure his team a win, rather than pad his own stats.  I’ve read utterly ridiculous tripe such as “Jon Runyon is probably going against Westbrook in his own fantasy football league!”

Do people really….really believe that crap?

I’ve read on more than one website, and heard on more than one radio broadcast, people stating that Westbrook was foolish to do what he did because: “that would have put them up by two scores…and instead he put them in the position to funble the snap!!!!”  Are you kidding me????

Westbrook, in taking the down, ensured that his team could win by kneeling.  He took time away from the Boys and there was nothing that they could do about it.  It was smart, and he should be praised for that.  Jon Runyon should be praised for his situational awareness and clock management.

So why is it that we’re still hearing whiners talking about how Westbrook cost them their season?

We’re taking Fantasy Football too seriously.  It is supposed to be fun.  It is supposed to enhance the game.  If you are depending on it as a source of income, then perhaps that time and energy can be better spent elsewhere.  I, for one, am tired of trying to keep track of who I have on which team and who I am facing that week…and if I have that player I’m facing on my own team in league X…..oy vey…

I don’t want to sound like I’m bagging on Fantasy Football.  It is what brought me back to the NFL after Bud Adams and the Oilers lied their dirty, sleazy, no-good asses out of town.  Before I was talked into taking the last team slot in my buddy’s league, I was done with the NFL.  It got me back in after that disgraceful episode, and kept my interest til Houston got a new team and then beyond.  I just don’t want to become one of these guys who are damning Brian Westbrook for smart football because it may have cost me some points.

Your blog wishes that it was discussing Jack of Fables

I just looked at the list of comics coming out this week (Good lord, DC….you trying to ruin me financially???) and I had missed it before, but the new issue of Jack of Fables comes out. 

 Now, I am a relatively recent convert to the wonderful world of Fables; a DC comic under the Vertigo imprint written by Bill Willingham, but man…I have gotten pulled into it quickly and completely.  I have been of such an anti-Vertigo mentality for a few years now (one can only read so many comics where the only reaction is “ooohhh…I can’t believe they did that; or “they sure use the word ‘fuck’ a lot!”) so initially I missed out on Fables; but thanks to the magic of trade paperbacks I am completely caught up and amongst the rabid fans.

The worst part for me has been having to adjust to waiting for it monthly after devouring 9 trades in a short amount of time.

Desperate for more Fables Goodness, I was estatic to discover the spin-off monthly, Jack of Fables, starring the lovable bastard, Jack Horner.  Co-written by Willingham and Matthew Sturges, Jack of Fables is a bit different from Fables, but almost as endearing.  Believe me that when I say “almost,” I am not diminishing Jack, but rather expressing just how much I think of the parent title.  Jack of Fables is one of the most fun comics I have come across in a long while.

So, what is our rapscallion, Jack, up to now?  Well he and his merry band of misfits are in search of Humpty Dumpty’s treasure in the lost Fable land of Americana.  When last we saw them, Jack and his crew had hopped the same boxcar (hobo-style!) as the annoying Page sister, Paul Bunyon and Babe, the Blue Ox (the real star of the series).  They aren’t alone when they get there, as Huck Finn and “Just-Call-Me” Jim are along for the ride as well.

So….what is Americana?  What treasures and adventures await?  As an avid history buff, I can think of many tales which, tho based in history, fall more into the Fable realm.

 Davy Crockett (ugh….it hurts me not to refer to him as “David” but the Disney-propelled fable says “Davy”) was the hero who died at the Alamo; but not before killing a bear with his bare hands.

 Paul Revere most certainly did ride, but one must think that the act of lighting the signals has grown into something much bigger than itself.

Paul Bunyon has already been seen; so are John Henry, Johnny Appleseed and Geronimo far behind?

Pecos Bill has been seen as well, so one can assume that Billy, the Kid; Wyatt Earp; and Sam Houston could be game as well.

Hell, we may even have a Judge Parker sighting!

It was easy to ignore the thought of an American Fable land for most long-term readers as, well….we haven’t been here all that long.  Still, it shouldn’t be hard to imagine that Americana, despite it’s youth, can be full of rich legends and colorful characters.  Besides – aren’t all of these characters merely representations of certain archetypes?  I’ll leave those questions to the people who take comics way too seriously and instead focus on the important things…like “which Page sister will Jack bed first?”

Priscilla.  No doubt.

Getting Cozy with Sarkozy!!!

I must congratulate French President, Nikolas Sarkozy, on his new relationship with one of my all-time favorite former models, Carla Bruni.   I’m trying to find an image of her that is work-safe and all that other junk.  Just do a google search without the safe-filter on, and you should see plenty of her. 

I’m proud of our fine, French Friend on the other side of the pond.  He isn’t hiding it; he isn’t making excuses for it…he’s just out there basically saying “Hey, I may be a little guy, but I’ve got money and power and I’m recently divorced, so Saddle Up!!!”

Here, I found a work/family friendly picture of her with her guitar:

Atractive in that nice, natural way.  She’s not a Silicone Diva; plus she plays the guitar, so that’s cool.  All in all, good job by the French guy.  Could you imagine that trying to play out over here?  I’m not one to run around like a chicken with my head cut off over some inconsistancies or hypocritical stances we sometimes take; but yowza…just imagine the firestorm if

1. A United States President got divorced while in office (especially so close to their election)
2. That US President started dating a model; especially one who was never shy about taking it all off.

Yeah…I’m sure that FOX, CNN, MSNBC and all the rest would treat that subject with the subtlety and discretion which they are known for.

 

Oh look!  Here she is again with her guitar, smiling as she’s about to bash it over someone’s head…wait – this isn’t wrestling, is it?  Well, if it were to happen here in the US then it may as well be.  The media circus and non-stop coverage would sound like a Vince McMahon-styled plot.  It could only end in someone getting their head shaved after a steel-cage match.  God bless our Media!

I’m curious how the French media is treating this.  Are they running her old pictures in their papers, or on their websites?  Are they following the two everywhere they go; critiquing every move they make?  I am going to assume so, because just as French is the language of love; sleazy trash is the language of Journalism.

You know who I really feel bad for in all of this?  Former president, Bill Clinton.  Somewhere he has got to be watching Sarkozy with this beautiful woman just thinking “Dammit! You French guys have all the luck!”

Short Shorts – Comic Book Briefs for the weeks of 12/12/2007 & 12/19/2007

GAHHH!!!!  IT’S BACK!  IT’S BACK!!!!

Run for the hills, kids, and don’t stop until the water subsides….

 

Sorry about that.  That horrifying image can only mean one thing – it’s time for some Comic Book Short-Shorts, where I just comment on thing that go through my mind with some of the comics that I read each week.  I don’t do reviews – you can find plenty of those at places Like This: I missed last week, so there will be a few mixed in from both weeks.  I will also be commenting on Fables, but in a separate post a little later on.

Booster Gold #5

Jeff Johns and Geoff Katz…err, switch those surnames…continue to dazzle with the Greatest Hero You’ve Never Heard of!  For all the talk about “DC hates Giffen’s League!” (guilty myself of some of that early on) and “Didio wants to kill off the late-80s using a death-ray powered by little, cuddly kittens!!!” that era sure does seem to be doing well these days.  Booster Gold and Blue Beetle (albeit a new one – more on that later) have titles; Checkmate is back, as is the Suicide Squad (with freaking Ostrander!  More on that later); Fire is a member of the aforementioned Checkmate; Ice is back from one of the worst, most pointless deaths in comics; the Rocket Red Brigade is back; the Crimson Fox is back from two of the worst, most pointless deaths in comics); the Extremists are back with a vengeance (where’s the damned Silver Sorceress??? GRR!!!); there is a Manhunter ongoing (allegedly); and Guy Gardner is doing what he does best – kicking ass, taking names and copping a feel.   This group at DC, for all I can see, do not “hate” that era at all; but rather they seem to be quite fond of it.  Oh yeah – and in addition to this rant, Booster Gold #5 was a great issue with Booster trying time and time again to prevent the Joker from shooting Barbara Gordon.  Rip was trying to teach him that some things can’t be changed, but man…he could have been a little less of a dick about it!  Of course, that was the only way to get through to s stubborn dude like Booster.  Issue sets up some excitement for the Blues and the Gold.

Checkmate #21

As many of you who know me are already aware…I tend to become hopelessly devoted to the oddest, most obscure comics characters.  Silver Sorceress; Crimson Fox; Sensor Girl; Snowbird; Mademoiselle Marie….Hey!  That’s her on the cover of the new Checkmate!!!  I’ve been looking forward to this ever since it was announced, and as much as I like self-contained stories, I was pleasantly surprised to see that this story would continue and that we’d get more Mademoiselle Marie goodness!  Rucka (and Trautmann – where do I know that name?) continue to delve into the deep, wonderful treasure trove that is the DC Universe, and the newest toy they’ve pulled out is the former Negative Woman, Valentina Vostok.  It makes sense considering her history with Checkmate and The Agency.  Good to see her again, and it was kind of weird seeing the two Queens getting along so well.  I can’t think of a single time that the Wall and Sasha got together for tea, and to discuss their tastes in man-candy.  Oy vey….sexual harrasment suit just waiting to happen in that Checkmate Castle!

Justice League of America #16

This series continues to get a lot of flak from people who are upset that Brad Meltzer is no longer on the title…but you know what?  I heard those same complaints after Waid followed Morrison; after Morrison followed Giffen/DeMatteis (because nothing happened in between those); and so on and so forth.  People who seem to think that the 12 issues Meltzer did deserve to be treated like the bible need to remind themselves that the writers will always change, and with them so will the League.  It is a fluid concept, and I, for one, don’t want to read McDuffie telling Meltzer’s stories anymore than I’d want to read Morrison telling Giffen’s stories.  I want to read McDuffie’s version of the JLA.  A shot that he has earned, many times over.  That said, I still don’t think that it has hit the “awesome” level yet, but I’m not in a rush.  With so much of the DCU seeming to be driven by editorial edicts this year I’m not going to huff and harumph just yet.  McDuffie has been telling good, solid, fun superhero comics, and this issue was no exception.  Black Canary & Guy Gardner’s exchange alone made it worth the price of admission.  Now, I’m not a big fan of “Tangent,” but I’m willing to see where this goes.  Oh, and no blurb about McDuffie can go without me again stating my hope that one of the 52 universes will be home to the likes of Static, Icon, Hardware, Kobolt and of course, the Blood Syndicate.

Batman & the Outsiders #3

I’m really digging this title right now, and will admit that I had a fanboy moment when I got to the panel with Geo-Force, Katana, Metamorpho and Black Lighting all together.  I still can’t say that I am a fan of Thunder and Grace, but mostly that is on the shoulders of Thunder.  I think that Grace will be a good character in this, but she needs to ditch the whiny significant other.  They cannot rely on Batgirl Nudity to bail them out of all of their eye-bleeding-inducing scenes.  Other than the usual complaining about the lineup – loving the Brother Eye and OMAC/REMAC presence in the title, as well as the inclusion of Dr. Langstrom as a supporting character.  I am really thinking that this title could be the unexpected breakout comic of this year for DC if they keep going in this direction.  Good to see Geo-Force on the team, even if his “transfer” was rather goofy.  The more original Outsiders the better!  Give us Looker, Halo and Windfall next!

Birds of Prey #….114?  I need to check the issue number later.

YAY!  McKeever is on the title!  I’ve been looking forward to his take on this comic ever since he was announced as the writer.  That there boy done gone good, I tell you what!  First off, Gail Simone (previous writer before Bedard) has this annoying habit of introducing/re-introducing characters who annoy the hell out of me…but grow on me when I’m least expecting it.  Apparantly that happened again with Misfit; whom I am reasonably sure I could not stand, but for some odd reason I was pleased when McKeever used her.  Good issue with the makeup of the new team, and this had a great, old-school “Suicide Squad” type feel to it – things can…and will go wrong.  McKeever has set up a sort of grey cloud that it appears this team will be operating under, and I for one am looking forward to it.  Good moment with Superman at the end.  I don’t know if they’re going to add any new members to the team, but at least to me the lineup of Oracle, Huntress, Lady Blackhawk and Misfit could still use a little “oomph” added to it.  Normally at this point I would suggest the Silver Sorceress or the Crimson Fox, but beyond making me completely giddy I don’t think that they would provide that “oomph.”  Manhunter?  Firehawk?  Zatanna???

OK, I’ll try to add more in later, as well as touch on the Keith Giffen and Suicide Squad topics.

Green Lantern #25: War is Over….If you want it….

Geoff Johns promised an epic; and sure enough, he delivered an epic.

I am not going to do a review of GL #25 here…do yourself a favor and read it if you haven’t!

There is simply too much going on in this comic for my extremely tired brain to try to coherrently piece together.  For a while now the existence of other Lanterns has been hinted at; and not long ago it was confirmed that the color spectrum of the Rainbow: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet; would each have some sort of emotion or action associated with them.

In the Sinestro Corps. War we saw the rise of the Yellow Lantern – the color of fear.  We’ve also seen that the Star Sapphires are the embodiment of unchecked love (meaning love so out of control that it can become consuming); and to better allow control of it, the Zamarons have decided to create their own Violet Corps. based upon the unchecked love of the Star Sapphires.

Well, in GL #25 we get our first look at the Red Lanterns, who embody absolute hatred: the polar opposite of the Violets.  We see the Indigo as monk-like beings of tranquility.  We see that the Orange is perhaps not a corps, but instead one being who wants nothing more than to collect all of the power for itself, as Orange is the color of greed.  Also, we met the Guardians of the Blue light, which is that of hope.

Then, the unexpected.  Once again, Geoff Johns shows that he plants little seeds long before harvesting his crop.  We have discovered that the absense of light: Black; has their own champion and corps, and it has been set in motion since the pages of Green Lantern: Rebirth.

I was not expecting Black Hand to become a major player, but looking back now this has been set in motion for some time.  I believe personally that Black Hand has a Guardian of his own, the villain, Nekron.  Nekron was the lord of a dead realm who fought the GLC by making them feel fear.  I had wondered many times if he was going to play a part in the Sinestro Corps War, but now I’m thinking he’s got another role to play.

This is one of Johns’ great strengths as a comics writer – he understands the importance of villains; and more importantly, why they do what they do.  He explores the motivation for these characters in a way which makes their actions make sense.  He did this admirably while revitalizing Flash’s Rogues, and now he is doing the same with Green Lantern.

Hector Hammond – the super-mind in a frail body; the ultimate voyeur and puppetmaster.

The Shark – the product of genetic manipulation of Earth’s creatures by alien forces.

Star Sapphire – unchecked love, controlling and ultimately vindicitive in scorn.

Cyborg- Superman – all he wants to do is to die.

***as a quick aside, I believe that the Cyborg-Superman makes so much more sense as a GL villain than as a Superman villain.**

The Manhunters – the abandoned children of the Guardians, unable to comprehend their feelings of jealousy of their more-loved siblings, the living.  Disciples of the Cyborg-Superman, once again given purpose, and in some sense a hint of humanity in the lack thereof.

Sinestro – cold, alien, conniving, and in his own mind the only being who’s vision of the universe is right.  He is one step ahead of everyone else…but still vulnerable to a two-by-four.

The Stage for the next big event of 2009 has been set; but I have a feeling that the leadup will be just as impressive.  We’re going to see new faces; familiar faces; and unfamiliar looks of once-familiar faces.  We’re going to see the birth of the various Corps.  We’ll have the introduction of the Alpha Lanterns (a couple of them were spoiled for me when I saw a cover – looks…..interesting).

The Four Musketeers: Hal, John, Guy (WOLVERINES! – sorry, V) and Kyle will find themselves as the representatives of an Earth who’s importance is becoming increasingly more apparant.  I’m hoping how we’ll see that play out with the rest of the Corps, who up until now have shown that we Earthlings are not well thought of.

Bottom line – Geoff Johns and his cohorts have managed to take Green Lantern and firmly establish it as a major franchise of the DCU, and indeed of all comics.  I say that we are ready for more.

Oh…and who do I have to kick to get some more Crimson Fox???

Christmas can bring out the Jerk in some people…

I love Christmas shopping.  I love it!  After having shoots shoved under my toenails; salt rubbed in scrapes; and being kicked square in the nuts by NFL Pro Bowl alternate, Kris Brown, (GO TEXANS!), Christmas shopping is my favorite thing ever!

OK, I don’t love it…I really don’t like it; but at least I keep it to myself, unlike the jerk I encountered at the store earlier.  The aisles were packed, as is to be expected, and I was looking for some Transformers and Justice League action figures (umm….for my nieces and nephews….right) and there were some kids running up and down the aisle because they are, you know, kids in a toy store.

Anyway, one little boy ran into a guy who was probably about 23-26 years old wearing the typical “I’m an angry loser who wasn’t hugged enough as a kid and now take my bitterness out on the world by acting in a snooty and elite manner” uniform.  Well, the guy looks at the kid and says “watch it, brat!”  The kid was a little freaked, I guess, and turned away real quick to run off (you know, because he’s a kid who just had a strange adult yell at him), and Captain Douchebag yells “there’s no such thing as Santa, you little shit!” and turned to his buddy to exchange their self-satisfied “I’m an angry loser who wasn’t hugged enough as a kid and now take my bitterness out on the world by acting in a snooty and elite manner” looks with one another.

The kids were just staring at the guy, so I stepped between them and Captian Douchebag and his partner, and said something along the lines of “don’t listen to that Grinch.  Why don’t you go find your parents?” and the kids ran off (probably bumped into someone else because they’re, you know, kids) and I turned around and asked those two what the hell their problem was.  I must have intimidated them a bit, because they walked away pretty fast.  I guess people don’t like it when someone bigger than them raises their voice at them, eh?

What would possess someone to yell something like that at a kid?  Is that guy’s life so incomplete that he felt that it was absolutely necessary to try to ruin some little kids’ Christmas for the simple crime of being kids in a crowded store?  I’m glad that I didn’t say anything else to them, and I’m glad that the situation was ended right then and there; but it’s been bugging me for a while since.  This guy got mad because kids were acting like kids…so he decided to act like a baby.

Merry Christmas to all, especially those who don’t feel the need to hurt the feelings of children to make themselves feel better.

Dear Santa, thank you for our new short stop, but can we get some pitching?

Oy vey….dark days are upon baseball fans.  Like many, I left during the strike year, and I came back with the excitement of the Home Run Chase; but I fear that tomorrow may squash my love for the old game one more time.  More on that later, tho.

First things first – my Astros made another big move this offseason today, acquiring Miguel Tejada for Troy Patton, Luke Scott, Matt Albers and a couple other pieces.  It looks like Drayton and Eddie are adopting the good, old-fashioned “murderer’s row” concept for the offense, which is good considering that we have Roy Oswalt and…..nothing at our starting pitching.

Miguel – this has nothing to do with you.  Welcome to the team, I am looking forward to seeing you in an Astros uniform; and I hope to god that your name is not on any reports released tomorrow which I’ll be talking about later.

My issue is that for all of the moves we’ve made, we have done nothing to help out Roy Oswalt with our starting pitching.  Right now I’m guessing that Woody Williams is our #2, and we’re hoping that Brandon Backe returns better than ever?  Can we really afford to give up a prospect like Patton; or a servicable starter like Albers?  What are we going to trot out there when the Wizard of Oz has the day off?  I am hoping that we have at least one more move this offseason to bring in some sort of help with our rotation, because right now it looks as if we’re hoping to simply outscore everyone on every night.

Speaking of which – not a bad lineup (on paper).  We’ve already been told that Bourn will lead off, followed by Matsui (if healthy), followed by Berkman, Lee, Tejada, Pence, Wigginton, Towles and whatever pitcher we roll out there.  Personally, I would prefer to see Pence and Matsui (if healthy) switch places in that order.  I know that Matsui (if healthy) is supposed to have superior speed; but do we really want to bury who could possibly be our best bat at the #6 spot?  Here’s to hoping that Cecil Cooper bases his order on production, and not name recognition.

I will give Ed Wade this – he is remaking this team.  Yes, some moves may be lateral at best, but at least he isn’t just clinging to the ghost of Hunsiker.  I know that Uncle Drayton doesn’t like the word “rebuild,” but at some point we’re going to have to do just that with our depleted minor league system.

Now…on to the ugliness.  The Mitchell Report is released tomorrow, and there are going to be around 80 names of current and former players, including many whom are well-known and highly thought of.  A lot of speculation has our new Short Stop on this list, and to be honest it wouldn’t surprise me.

That’s no dig at Miggy – I won’t be surprised by any names on the list, to be totally honest.  I am fully expecting to see my fair share of current and former Astros on this list, and I think that fans of every team should prepare for the same with their players.  I do know this for certain, tho…if the names Bagwell and Biggio show up tomorrow, then it may be worse for me than a shortened season and cancelled World Series.  That could drive me from the game once and for all.

Please don’t let that happen, Santa!

Super-Mario’s World

Could it be?  Have the Haters begun to come around?

For the past two+ years in Houston you could not go 5 minutes without hearing the name Vince Young, or to a lesser degree, Reggie Bush.  I know – I was a big-time Bush-backer heading into the 2006 draft.  I thought that he was the only option and was annoyed at no end by the Youngsters.

The Youngsters, of course, are the rabid Vince Young fans who think that the Texans passing on him was a greater affront to Houston Sports Fandom than Bud Adams lying his way out of town.  These are the people who would call into radio shows saying that we needed to draft VY, hire Mack Brown as coach and trade Chicago for Cedric Benson.  These are the people who are convinced that, if given the chance, Vince Young could cure cancer, bring peace to the Middle East and fix the holes in the Ozone layer.  Let me be clear – I have nothing against Vince Young: he seems like a stand-up guy and someone who truly loves the game; but man…his fans, the Youngsters, are flat-out awful.

For too long, the Youngsters have included many elite members of the Houston Sports Media (fourth largest city…one major paper).  Guys like Richard Justice who today has inexplicably come out stating his support for the Texans selection of Mario over the Messiah.  Here’s a blog entry from Lance Zierlein on the topic as well:

http://blogs.chron.com/fantasyfootball/2007/12/mario_williams_is_winning_roun_1.html

I am glad that guys like Zierlein are giving Williams the respect he’s earned this season; and I’m absolutely baffled that Richard Justice has backed away from the Vince Bandwagon long enough to admit that perhaps he was wrong about the guy.  My big fear is that this kind of acceptance may be detrimental to Mario’s development, tho.  I think that the big fella needs that fire to always burn; to feel the neverending need to prove that he was the correct player taken.  Fortunately, in the land of the Youngsters he will always have enough detractors to provide him with that kindling.

In our brief history there hasn’t been a lot to get excited about; but this young defense is something that all Texans fans and the NFL at large should take note of.  Mario, DeMeco Ryans, Dunta Robinson, Amobi Okoye, Fred Bennett, a revitalized Travis Johnson…all young, all hungry and all ready to step up.  Or at least that is what we’re hoping.

Great blog, as usual by Zierlein; and it is wonderful to have Justice taking a look around Super-Mario’s World.  I really hope that VY and Reggie have long, productive careers (when they aren’t playing Houston, that is); but I think that Mario will eventually be accepted by all but the most die-hard Youngsters as the correct pick.