Short Shorts – Comic Book Briefs for the week of 11/29/2007

Welcome to Short Shorts, where in the spirit of Burt Ward, we give a few brief comments about comics which come out every week. I am not doing full reviews (having neither the time, nor the patience), but instead I will just touch on a few things that jump out at me.

Please note – these will be filled with the dreaded SPOILERS!!!!! So if you haven’t read comics from this week and plan to do so, then please do not read this until you have done so.

SPOILERS (again – don’t say that I didn’t warn you).

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #18

Part 10 of the Sinestro Corps War. In this issue we get some backstory on Sodam Yat, the Daxamite Green Lantern who is now the bearer of the ION force. We learn more about him as he has an all-out fight with Superman-Prime, who while a total twerp has developed into a great villain. Prime gets the early advantage due to Yat’s exposure to lead, which is deadly to Daxamites. From that point on Sodam Yat is on the defensive while trying to learn both his new abilities as Ion, as well as his Superman-like powers which are blossoming under Earth’s yellow sun. The fight, while seemingly long and brutal to Yat and us as readers, seems to take place very quickly setting us up for the conclusion of this incredible story in Green Lantern #25, due out in a couple weeks. I enjoyed the looks at Daxam’s society (including the xenophobia) and Sodam Yat came across as a character whom you can really rally behind.

Batman and the Outsiders #2

Second issue of the revamped title, and so far color me impressed. Chuck Dixon is really on his A-game so far with this title, and it has left me wanting more. This is a perfect example of a good relaunch, as it has breathed some life into the previous, dull version of the Outsiders franchise which goes beyond just adding the big Bat to the roster. This is not so much a team as it is a collection of Bat-operatives needed for specific missions. Classic Outsiders, Katana and Metamorpho, seem to be the most at comfort with the concept of this team; and Dixon has completely shocked me by making the character Grace interesting. I am thinking these three will be the core characters with the others (Martian Manhunter, Catwoman, Batgirl) being used as needed. Speaking of the Green Guy, between this and last week’s Checkmate the Martian Manhunter is being used very well lately. Still not a fan of the conehead look, but that’s a minor quibble at worst. The thing that I am most pleased with in this issue is that they are not abandoning the idea of Brother Eye and the OMAC. Those were too good of concepts from Infinite Crisis to be forgotten so quickly. Brother Eye (and it’s OMAC) continue to develop and evolve, and I’m looking forward to more.

Lord Havok and the Extremists

Those who know me are aware of the fact that I am the single biggest Silver Sorceress fan on the planet (and beyond, I’m betting) so I would be remiss in my fanaticism if I did not lead off by stating that we’ve had two issues and nary a sighting of her. BOO! HISS!!!! OK, beyond that I am enjoying this. I do not really like the redesigns of some of the Extremists or Wandjina, but I’m sure that they’ll grow on me. I do like the fact that the Extremists, a long-time favorite comics team of mine, are being brought back in such a big way; and I enjoyed our first look inside one of their heads – Gorgon. In addition to looking really creepy, Gorgon proves that he is in fact very creepy. He suffers from multiple personalities (one for each tentalce, or something of that nature) and his petty jealousies and insecurities have led him down the road towards villainy. They seem to be setting him up with the classic “but he was so quiet” path and I’m sure that we’ll soon see him explode in a great ball of rage and vengeance, tho against whom, I am not sure. Two issues in and I’m going to keep sticking around….unless they don’t show the Silver Sorceress in the next issue (and not kill her!), then I’ll think about leaving. More Silver Sorceress!!!!

OK, next up we’ll discuss Gotham Underground #2; Teen Titans #53 and Countdown to Final Crisis #22; and Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes #36.

We are Puppets and the NFL is our Master

Tonight the Packers and the Cowboys are playing, and I, like many people, cannot watch it because my cable provider does not include the NFL Network in it’s basic package…and I (despite loving football) have no desire to pay for the Sports Package.

Why, oh why are the awful, awful Cable Providers doing this to the poor fans???

 Well, that is what the NFL wants you to ask.  You see, the NFL is fighting with these service providers, and they want to use us, the fans, as their weapon. 

The NFL wants their NFL Network to get the same rates as the highest-rated cable networks, such as TNT, USA or the Discovery Channel…even tho those networks provide hundreds of hours of original programming…and the NFL provides 8 games per season.

Yes, they have other stuff, but only the most die-hard NFL fans would care about it.  I love my Texans; I go to some games; I watch every game on TV; I currently have 4 fantasy football teams; but man…even I don’t care about most of the “in-depth” programming and commentary for the other 48 weeks of the year.  I don’t want to watch the Combine, and I get my fill of draft talk on ESPN and sports radio.

The NFL approaches this as if they have all of the cards, even when they know that they have a weak hand.  They pull these 8 games each year in order to get fans angry about not being able to see the games.  They want angry fans to call their cable providers and demand that the NFL Network be added to basic service, and that the providers capitulate to all of the NFL’s demands.  They don’t have the product to back their demands up…so they want the anger of the cable subscribers.  They want the phonelines of Comcast, Cox, Time-Warner and every other major provider jammed tonight and tomorrow by angry fans who are threatening to leave for the greener pastures of DirectTV or Dish Network.

And you know what?  I bet that it is working like a charm.  They are pulling our (I’m a fan, I am part of this, too) strings and we are dancing for our masters.  The Capitalist in me admires the hell out of the NFL for taking such a ballsy stance against these Cable Providers; playing the kind of hardball that would make Chris Matthews curl up into a ball of insane jealousy.  The fan in me, tho, is pissed about missing this game and does not appreciate how the NFL tries to play it off as “They’re the white hats, and the Cable guys are the villains.”

 Bottom line?  I’m annoyed right now, but by tomorrow I’ll be over it, and by Sunday I’ll be in front of the Tube watching my Texans take on the hated Titans and whatever other games are on.  The NFL won’t be getting me to call on their behalf tonight, but I’m sure that they won’t miss me much, seeing as how I probably wouldn’t be able to get through anyway.

 Talk about a goal-line stand!

Ivan Drago

http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/ivan-drago/

I’m always the last to find out about things like this, but this is such a wonderful time-waster that I had to make sure and share it with the tragically behind-the-times people like myself.  You are Ivan Drago (of Rocky IV fame) and you have to fight your way through the streets against little stabby guys, chicks with Lassos, guys on Segueways and dinosaurs on the orders of Mikhail Gorbachev.  Definate old-school video game feel to this.

Houston, Sports and Me

Well, I just finished watching tonights Houston Rockets-Phoenix Suns game.  This is one of the best games I have seen from this team of Rockets under the Adelman regime.  I felt as if we took a trip back in time watching Steve Francis on a couple plays; but the flashy plays were not what impressed me, instead it was his approach to the game while he was in there.  He was out there just to play – it was not about him, it was about doing what it takes to win the game, and that makes me incredibly happy and hopeful for the future of this team.

We had another good outing by Luis Scola, who along with Bonzi Wells, Dikembe Mutumbo and Steve Francis are making this a team with a bench to be reckoned with.  Shane Battier continues to be Mr. Glue, and Chuck Hayes continues to be the most under-appreciated man manning the PF spot in basketball.  Rafer Alston rose to the occassion as well, and I have to think that Francis’ play helped in some way.  We need solid competition between Alston, Francis and Mike James in order to maximize our potential at that spot.

All that said – we will only go as far as Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady will take us.  It felt good to get that win on the road against Phoenix, but we are still only a couple games removed from that shameful 6-game losing skid and there is a long, long season ahead of us.  Keep feeding the ball to the Big Man and ride that pony to the end!

I guess that you could say that I am a sucker for pain and disappointment, not only being a Rockets fan, but also a die-hard Texans and Astros fan.  Yes, they all break my heart, but they’re my teams, dammit!  I am one of the rare Houstonians who liked the Mario Williams selection, and still think that it was the best way to go.  Leading up to the draft I was all about Bush, but once Mario was ours that was it for me.  I cannot stand the Youngsters around town, who still haven’t gotten over the fact that the franchise passed on that guy who played a good Rose Bowl at UT.  GET OVER IT!!!  I like the direction this team is heading in, but there are so many weaknesses that still need to be addressed, mostly dealing with depth and the RB position.  Don’t get me wrong – I love the Dayne Train, but we have got to look ahead past next season.  I am hoping against hope that a player like Mike Hall or Felix Jones will be available to us in this draft.

As for my beloved Astros…I just don’t know what to think right now.  It was weird enough to watch them without Jeff Bagwell; but to watch them now without Craig Biggio as well is just going to be too strange.  Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Dah, life goes on…and so do sports.  I always knew that they wouldn’t be here forever…but it doesn’t make it any less strange.

So, what to do?  Personally, I was not terribly down on Brad Lidge, but I really like the potential of Michael Bourn, and I am a sucker for the hometown kid making it big with the hometown team.  Add in J.R. Towels and Hunter Pence and we have a strong cast of young’uns; along with guys like Adam Everett (who’s still a liability at offense, no matter how great his defense is); Carlo$ Lee; Ty Wigginton; and of course the man, the myth…the legend – the BIG PUMA, Lance Berkman, and we may have a competitive team, if not a division contender.  Losing out on Luis Castillo hurt my hopes for the upcoming season, but for once I am walking into the Spring not expecting much, so they can do nothing other than impress me at this point.

Of course, I have to give some love to our newest team in the Houston family – the back-to-back MLS Champion Houston Dynamo!  Name issues and unintentional insults aside, it is so easy to get behind this team, and not just because of the fact that they are the only Champs that we have going.  Guys like Brian Ching and De Rosario have made the Dynamo and the MLS so accessible to the Houston market.  They have seemed proud to be here, and that has made me proud to support them.  As much as I enjoy playing Soccer, I haven’t been a staunch follower of it in the professional level, but that has changed with this Dynamo franchise.  I am looking forward to checking out some of their matches at the new Stadium once it is built.  I just hope that the Dynamo fanatics aren’t seriously thinking that they’re getting a retractable roof!

A lot of people look at sports as a waste of time and money.  They see it as kids games and think that those who follow them are somehow inferior to them.  Those people just do not understand what these sports, and these teams mean to communities and individuals.  They don’t see how they can be such a uniting force between people.  We are at our best when we try to be our best, and sports exemplify that better than just about anything.  You could throw me in a room with a Democrat from Boston; an Evangelical from Mississippi; and a Green from Washington, and chances are the four of us could talk for days about last night’s games, fantasy football, the 1985 World Series or the upcoming NFL Draft for hours on end.  Sports are not perfect, but neither is Humanity.  At the very least sports are something that can unite even the most different people, and that in itself is worth the price of admission.

P.S. – the Tennessee Titans Suck!

Once upon a time…I cared.

This evening at dinner, I was eating out with some friends and the subject of politics came up, specifically the 2008 Presidential election.  While most members of my party this evening find ourselves in the same idealogical camp, the subject of the next occupant of the Oval Office tends to bring out the absolute best in people.  While listening to some of the back and forth banter about this candidate and that candidate, I just could not help but notice how little I cared.

Time was, I was involved.  I kept up with the issues and the candidates stances on those issues.  I was armed with information and the belief that I could make a difference.

 Then somewhere over the last couple years I’ve discovered that I just don’t care anymore.  I don’t have the energy to get outraged over things that do not affect me directly.  I neither have the patience for causes; nor the attention span for discourse.

But what is discourse?  I used to believe that Discourse was discourse, of course, of course…but have since realized that discourse is no more than the ass of a horse.  Nobody “discusses” politics or issues these days.  Everything comes down to one belief which spans all party lines: “I am right; you are wrong; and you are ignorant for your beliefs.”  Looking back at my more “enlightened” days, I was guilty of that line of reasoning myself.  The problem I had, and that pretty much everyone has, is that we don’t see it when we are in the act of it.

If the world had as many truly “enlightened” people as it does those who believe that they are “enlightened” then it would never be dark at night with all of the glowing.

I guess what I’m saying is that I have no patience for politics, but I will so totally take the time to set up a bad pun.

Kingdom of Loathing

  http://www5.kingdomofloathing.com/login.php?loginid=3957db261bdd42499d4f6b8121f0f2eb

What is this?  This is Kingdom of Loathing.  It is an online game which has put such a dent in my personal productivity that both alcohol and online porn are insanely jealous.

You can find the game in the link at the top of this post. The game is free; it is fun; and the people who run it may or may not be completely and utterly insane. My character’s name is Groovius Maximus, and I am a member of Clan Newsarama. Currently I am a Pastamancer, but I will switch back to being a Disco Bandit before Crimbo starts.

Odds are, you have no clue what I just said. Pastamancers and Disco Bandits are two of the six classes of characters that you can play on the game. The others are: Seal Clubbers, Turtle Tamers, Accordian Thieves, and Saucerors. Each class has its own special attributes and are ruled by one of the stat categories: Muscle, Mysticality or Moxie. The game itself is free, and you earn items by defeating monsters such as Hippy Shaman, Beer-Bongadiers, Vampire Ducks, Furry Giants, the Twig and Berries, the Muff, the Whitesnake, and various other creepies, crawlies, ghoulies and sleazies. The currency for the Kingdom is meat…but you cannot eat the meat. You can only collect it to help maintain the wonderful market-based economy.

You can eat; however. That is one of the ways to get more adventures. The other is to drink as much booze as possible without passing out.

If you decide to check it out, send a message to “Groovius Maximus” and I’ll send you a welcoming gift.

Just Like Starting Over….

Great song.

 I grew up a child of the eighties with a father who never really left the 60’s when it came to music.  It is amazing how so many of these things stick with you over time.  I can say with total confidence that it has been at least a decade since I have listened to a Beatles album all the way through (and yes, I am including their solo careers in this statement); but even tho I may not listen to them as much as I did as a younger dude, I still remember each lyric of each song.

 Wonderful memory trigger, music is.  And don’t worry, I may occassionally fall into Yoda-speak, but not often.  The fact stands that music lyrics, once they have touched you, manage to stay with you even when you least expect it.  A couple minutes ago when I was thinking of the first thing to post on this, that John Lennon song wasn’t on my mind at all.  Instead I was thinking of my one previous attempt at this blogging thing many moons ago.  I never kept up with it and like so many flights of fancy it was gone before I barely noticed it was there.

 Still…I liked the title of that old blog, so I decided to use it again.  Consider this the second coming of something that no one ever noticed the first time around!

 Enough about that, tho.  Now I have this John Lennon song on my mind.  This one and others.  Songs that I haven’t thought about in ages, but are now flying through my mind in a bizarre cacaphony of melody and memory.  Suddenly I am not sitting in front of the cold light of my laptop, but instead I am sitting in my bedroom directly upstairs from my parent’s room.  It is late, and I have to get up early for practice in the morning…but I can’t sleep.  I’m sitting up with a stack of comics listening to the soundtrack for “Imagine: John Lennon.”  In a time without cell phones or email, I’m alone with no one except my dreams and imagination to keep me company over the long night.  I have a towel along the bottom of my door in case my Mother wakes up, she won’t see my light on.

This is my world – my sanctuary.  By the time I was 16 I had already buried one of my closest friends, and I was convinced that I alone in this vast world understood what loss and pain meant.  I only hope that the people then did not see the fool that I was that I see so clearly now.  It is so funny that when we are younger we have everything so figured out, save for that one thing…our inability to realize just how incredibly dumb we were.  Half of the reason why I am building a time machine is so I can go back and beat the stupid out of my younger self.

Wait – did I say “time machine?”  I meant “swamp gas.”

Anyway – while I plot and scheme to break the laws of time and space so that I can go back in time and teach myself a lesson I won’t ever forget, you can all do something else.  What that is, I neither know, nor care.  I have complete faith in all of you to get past this difficult stage of our relationship.