War is Upon us: Fables #71

There are just a handful of comics that I put ahead of just about any other: Ostrander’s Spectre; Gaiman’s Sandman; and Robinson’s Starman are probably at the top of that list.  Coming up fast behind them, and very likely to overtake them is what may be the best ongoing comic published today: Fables.

I arrived to this show late, but it did not take long for me to catch up.  I devoured the first 8 trade paperbacks as well as the 1001 Nights of Snowfall hardcover; and jumped on board for the monthlies with the recently-concluded storyline: The Good Prince.  Now everything that Bill Willingham has built up to in this comic appears to be coming to a head.  The War with the Homelands is no longer just talk: it is a reality.

And who better to get kick things off in this war than the most fashionable, foul-mouthed, super-sneaky, butt-kicker supreme: Cinderella!

PLEASE NOTE: There will be SPOILERS for this issue (#71) in this post, so if you don’t wish to read them, then check back here after you have! 

That is the cover to issue #71; and for those unfamiliar with Fables, it should be apparant that this isn’t Walt Disney’s little princess.  She does, however, owe a lot of her power to the Maker of the Mouse, who has kept her legend alive and well-known by millions.  The better-known the Fable, the more powerful they are.  So it only makes sense that She of the Glass Slipper would be one of the strongest, toughest Fables out there.

Already more powerful than your average Mundy (that’s the Mudane folk – the people of this world who only know these characters through fairy tale legends); Cinderella enters into the stratosphere of near SuperFable.  We’ve already seen what some of the more popular Fables have endured: Snow White survived being shot in the head; Jack Horner seems to be impaled or blown up every other issue; and Goldilocks…oy vey – where to begin?  The story of Cinderella is as well-known, or possibly even better-known than those Fables, so we can only imagine her power, which was hinted at in this issue (being able to flip over a large SUV without breaking a nail).

The thing about Cindy, tho – most Fables believe her to be a spoiled, foul-mouthed brat who by some miracle manages to keep a small shoe store in operation when she is not out galivanting about the globe.  None of them realize what we have known for some time: that she is essentially Fabletown’s number one spy and secret agent.  Recruited and trained by Bigby Wolf (the Big Bad Wolf and essentially the hero of this overall tale), Cindy has proven to be born for the life she now secretly leads.  Her latest adventure in this current issue take her to one of the Homeland’s open gates (soft spots between dimensions where one can travel between worlds) all the way down in Tierra del Fuego at the tip of Argentina.  She has been sent down to retrieve a package deemed so important that she is the only person that Bigby Wolf and her scoundrel of an ex-husband (but brilliant military commander) Prince Charming will trust to retrieve and return it safely to Fabletown.

 Her arrival in Tierra del Fuego gets off ot the wrong start immediately, as the man who was supposed to meet her to transfer the package brought two rather large goons along rather than come alone as agreed.  It turns out that the duplicitous and foolish, foolish little man had decided that instead of giving her the package, thta he would take her – a stunningly beautiful woman travelling alone – and attempt to sell her into human slavery to someone who would handsomely for a woman of her qualities.  Yes…well, this was a bad idea.

Within seconds, Cindy blinds one goon by jabbing his eyes out with her thumbs, shoots the other one and causes the vehicle that they are in to flip, knocking the very foolish man unconscious.  It is during this time that Cindy reveals her strength by flipping the vehicle back over while ot even questioning for a moment if she could.  When the foolish little man awakens she makes him take her to the package, even though that it is clear to her that he is setting her up again.  She willingly walks into this trap of his for the sake of checking on the package’s safety: and it is revealed to be Pinocchio – the runaway son of the Adversary and former citizen of Fabletown.  It turns out that he wants to come back, and that Bigby and Charming have decided that his knowledge is worth the risk of getting him.

Oh yeah – that trap?  Another bad idea.  Cindy dispatches the entire room full of goons quickly and without quarter, all the while mocking them in her thoughts, making fun of spy movies and looking absolutely fabulous while doing it.  We’ve seen her in some cloak and dagger action, but this is the first time that we really get to see her cut loose, and it is a sight to behold.  The single greatest mystery in the Fables comics is clearly this: how on Earth did Prince Charming survive pissing this woman off?

After the foolish, little man and his goons are dispatched, Cindy takes Pinocchio off the beaten path to get them home while avoiding trouble.  She makes some very funny comments about not standing out when she may as well be an albino in Kenya with her fashion choices.  She arrives back in the room that she and Pinocchio are staying in…only to discover that they have been found by one of the Adversary’s most nefarious agents: the murderous Hansel.

Once we get the veiled threats and veiled counter-threats out of the way, we get to the business of Hansel trying to pump her for information…but once again it seems that Hansel is a day late and a dollar short.  He wants to know when the War will begin.  He wants to know when Fabletown intends to strike, and we get a wonderful, Watchman-esque reaction from a laughing Cindy: the war began over 19 hours ago when Fabletown attacked from the Cloud Kingdoms.

Every so often this comic makes me declare a favorite character, only to declare a new favorite character a month later.  For a long time now I have been a Cindy fan and I have been looking forward to this spotlight issue, and now I am even more enamoured with the character than when I began.  Cindy, in the words of Jesus, totally freaking rules.

The War has begun, and for us readers the hardest part is upon us: the wait until the next issue comes out.

p.s. – I very nearly forgot to add that Prince Charming resigned as Mayor of Fabletown, leaving the recently-appointed King Cole to once again assume the duties as mayor.  His first act was to re-instate Beauty as deputy mayor and then to appoint Prince Charming as Director of Homeland Reclamation.  Prince Charming’s sole duty now is the generalship of the war.