Dem on Dem Violence – Delicious and Nutritious!

I will give this to Obama and Clinton – they are amusing the hell out of me.  Whether it be Reverend Wright’s Racist Rants or Sinbad Presents: the Snipers of Bosnia – they are just giving us all a good laugh here and there.  Well done, sir and ma’am!

You know who I really feel bad for in all of this?  I mean – really, truly and absolutely?  Those poor schmucks in Pennsylvania.  I thought that we had it bad here in Texas when Barack, Hillary, John and Mike were knocking on doors, going through people’s trash, setting up pirate radio stations and sending out smoke-signal attack ads for a few weeks…those poor bastards up in Pennsylvania are going to be bombarded by them for weeks to come!

I can see it now: the Streets of Philadelphia….Ghost Town!  In Pittsburgh the citizens only come out under the cover of darkness!  In Allentown they’re hiding in all those factories shut-down that Billy Joel told us about.  All of these people hiding, living in fear…if one can truly call that living.  You can’t blame them, tho – they know that if they’re spotted out on the streets that they will be attacked immediately by pollsters and stumpers, demanding to know who they are voting for…and ready to tell them why they are wrong if they say the incorrect answer!  There will be no peace, no respite for these people until after April 22nd, and the zombie heard flocks to it’s new location.

And before I go any further – I want to apologize to the zombies for comparing them to these campaign workers.  Zombies are hard-working ghouls, just trying to get by in this crazy world.  They have to put up with social stigma due to the smell of their rotting flesh and a society who doesn’t approve of these humble creature’s eating habits.  Well – mock the Zombies all that you want – at least they seek out those with Brains.  You cannot say the same for the current mob of political activists running around in Penn’s Forest.  No – they want people with fewer brains: the less thoughts the better!  They just want their targets to be able to remember the last soundbite they hear before shuffling into the polling booth to do the bidding of their new dark lords and masters.  That’s not what Zombies are about, man…I know this and I apologize to every Undead-American  who is reading this.

They’d have to be undead – I can’t see any live people reading this tripe.  Won’t stop me from typing it, tho!  Nope!  I am doing the on-line version of talking to myself.  Why?  Because I like the little tickety-tap sound the keys make when I hit them really fast. 

Back to the Dem-on-Dem Violence:  I’m a fan.  Keep it up, Hill and O!  Keep slapping each other when you are down; keep biting at each other’s last words; try to drag each other into the muck as you stumble.  You’re both doing a wonderful job right now and I know that you can keep this going all the way to the Convention!  You are it:  you are the story!  No one even knows who the Republicans are running at this point, and the Libertarians?  The Greens?  The Other Greens?  Yeah – no one knows, and no one cares!  They could all be more qualified, but that’s not the point: you guys are more entertaining!

Well, at least to those of us who find humor in people repeatedly putting their feet in their mouths.  As far as physical comedy goes, that is right up there with the unexpected shot to the nuts.  Gold every time, Jerry!  Gold!!!

As for what lies ahead: I think that we can all turn this into a game.  We could set it up like Squares, where you pick a candidate, a date and a scandal.  each space costs $10 and you can tell your buddies: “I have Obama with a hooker on April 7th;” or “Hillary takes credit for ending the Cola Wars on March 29th.”  Personally, I’m voting for whichever candidate stopped the evil Galactic Empire plans by blowing up the Death Star.

God, these people amuse me….and one of them has a chance at being in charge this time next year….

Well, that thought just killed my buzz.